She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
