I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
