The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
