I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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