either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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