Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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