this beer tastes like vomit already
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize