How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
