Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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