my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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