Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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