I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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