In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
