It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize