I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
