No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
