She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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