Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
