it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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