zippers are such a cool invention
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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