this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
