That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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