I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
