Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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