these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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