i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
