I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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