btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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