can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
