it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
