Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
