I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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