I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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