Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
