just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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