I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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