And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
