Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Quick, to the slutcave!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
