you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she peed on how many people?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
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College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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