Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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