yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
