We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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