Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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