I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
