I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
