I didn't shave. On purpose
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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