it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.