Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough http://tfl.nu/ltrw
  Replies (15) Good night (3726) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though http://tfl.nu/7ly3
  Replies (19) Good night (6097) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome http://tfl.nu/nq8y
  Replies (13) Good night (4892) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  We're doing a case race on Saturday.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): We're doing a case race on Saturday. (302): I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism" http://tfl.nu/1jnr
  Replies (5) Good night (4020) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes http://tfl.nu/1teg
  Replies (9) Good night (4326) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina http://tfl.nu/gfgs
  Replies (12) Good night (1276) Bad night (2865)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical http://tfl.nu/7e1z
  Replies (7) Good night (4365) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick. http://tfl.nu/dk06
  Replies (6) Good night (1202) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze. (414): After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned. http://tfl.nu/wsrv
  Replies (6) Good night (1405) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands. http://tfl.nu/ucsy
  Replies (9) Good night (367) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes. http://tfl.nu/t9et
  Replies (8) Good night (353) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline. http://tfl.nu/s47z
  Replies (0) Good night (428) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please http://tfl.nu/0pza
  Replies (0) Good night (554) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room. http://tfl.nu/dcq0
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick" http://tfl.nu/u1nk
  Replies (4) Good night (721) Bad night (225)

Randomize