The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Good thing I've started drinking again