Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.

Fav 29 855 5443
share tweet
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.

Fav 11 2520 1359
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.

Fav 9 2814 1257
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...

Fav 7 1200 2406
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(337): View more from Louisiana

I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.

Fav 5 1193 914
share tweet
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.

Fav 5 2292 848
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.

Fav 1 687 1026
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(940): View more from Texas

I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.

Fav 1 87 128
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(309): View more from Illinois

I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?

Fav 0 29 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT