Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk

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  (612): How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk http://tfl.nu/wp9g
  Replies (7) Good night (999) Bad night (3499)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell

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  (704): When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell http://tfl.nu/rk2d
  Replies (9) Good night (3335) Bad night (670)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I am spending my child support on dildos

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  (405): I am spending my child support on dildos http://tfl.nu/j7aa
  Replies (78) Good night (1242) Bad night (3996)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?

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  (407): Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ? http://tfl.nu/brtl
  Replies (10) Good night (4051) Bad night (1245)
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  (845): View more from New York

  she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.

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  (845): she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there. http://tfl.nu/dzx0
  Replies (3) Good night (2644) Bad night (772)
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  (858): View more from California

  the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.

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  (858): the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus. http://tfl.nu/isnl
  Replies (5) Good night (3458) Bad night (1043)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning

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  (215): he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning http://tfl.nu/kfu4
  Replies (4) Good night (936) Bad night (2560)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.

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  (604): Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features. http://tfl.nu/e715
  Replies (10) Good night (1901) Bad night (624)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.

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  (502): The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him. http://tfl.nu/w8du
  Replies (13) Good night (1943) Bad night (670)
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  (707): View more from California

  He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.

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  (707): He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple. http://tfl.nu/9nil
  Replies (5) Good night (771) Bad night (943)
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  (212): View more from New York

  He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode

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  (212): He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode http://tfl.nu/pfoq
  Replies (26) Good night (2159) Bad night (606)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good

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  (860): Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum (1-860): I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good http://tfl.nu/bjb1
  Replies (7) Good night (889) Bad night (368)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.

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  (615): I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY. http://tfl.nu/j30c
  Replies (2) Good night (811) Bad night (296)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Sex is always the answer.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?

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  (630): Sex is always the answer. (630): Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year? http://tfl.nu/kqhl
  Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (338)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"

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  (203): You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?" http://tfl.nu/cv6m
  Replies (6) Good night (715) Bad night (280)

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