Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
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He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
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He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"