This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
