All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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