Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
