people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
