I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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