xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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