you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
