I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
