: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
