Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
