talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
