Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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